My four year old constantly talks about all the amazing tasks she will someday do. Recently she told me she would be able to fly someday. I did not simply point out that humans do not have wings and therefore are unable to fly. I told her we do not have wings, but when she grew up and studied math and science she could create a machine that would make it safe for people to fly.
I am not always so wise. I still fall into the “That is the way it is.” trap sometimes after 30 or 40 “Why, mama?” questions. However, by making a conscious effort to reframe my responses to her “impossible” dreams I am nurturing her confidence.
For some reason we allow ourselves to fall into the “perfect” trap and then we berate ourselves when we are unable to maintain that ideal. This is especially true for women.
Have you ever found yourself obsessing over the tiniest detail? For example, you forget one line in a prepared speech so the entire talk must have been horrible. Or, because you told your daughter one time “That is the way it is.” any confidence issues she has later in life will be your fault.
Confidence does have to tempered with reality to a point. I may be confident I can create a WordPress website, however until I actually learn how to create that website that confidence is misplaced. I should actually be confident that I can learn how to build it first and then build it.
Rephrase your narrative to include any action steps necessary to complete your goals. Just as I told my daughter she could fly if she learned what could make that possible, tell yourself you can speak in front of a crowd if you give yourself time to prepare properly beforehand or whatever you need to do to accomplish your goals.
Until next time…
Have a great day,
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