I am going to wrap up this confidence series with lucky number 13 - embrace gratitude. Gratitude reminds you of all that you have and all that you are. It may be the foundation of confidence.

Be grateful for what you have. Find a way to feel gratitude for the good parts of your life and the not-so-good parts too. It helps you get out of the “I do not have enough.”/”I am not good enough rut”. When you feel unworthy, your confidence takes a hit.

How can you be grateful when your life is falling apart?

I recently spoke at an event about looking for and accepting the gifts we receive every day. I talked about how jealous I was, when I was in the rehabilitation hospital, of the paraplegics who could be self-reliant until I realized there were other patients on ventilators who were jealous of the fact that I could breathe without a machine. I was able to be grateful that I could still hold my baby even if I could not get myself out of bed.

Take two minutes each morning to write down what you have to be grateful for going in to the day. Find gratitude in small things and big ones. Sometimes you can only be grateful that you woke up without hitting the snooze button today. Take two minutes each evening to write down what you are grateful for that happened during the day. Sometimes you can only be grateful that you did not have an automobile accident going to or from work today.

Get a journal to write your grateful thoughts in and after doing this exercise for a while you will notice that your list builds from one or two each morning and evening to three or four each morning and evening. Your list will eventually build to ten or more each morning and evening and you will find yourself noticing what makes you grateful as it happens during the day.

Review your journal from time to time so you can see how far you have progressed.

WARNING - Because you are focusing on the good aspects of your life you will start to feel better about yourself AND you will find yourself exhibiting more confidence. Self-confidence is a side effect worth having!

The more you become accustomed to feeling confidence, the easier it becomes to tap into. You can develop confidence and use it when you need it most. Confidence in yourself and your strengths, skills and abilities can reside in every area of your personal and professional life.

Until next time…

Have a great day,
Susanne

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​Many times, you can build your confidence without ever thinking about yourself. How do you do that? Show kindness and generosity, and accept help. You may be wondering how acts of kindness to others will build confidence. Let me tell you.

Many years ago, I was at the doctor’s office and I was talking to a gentleman in the waiting room. He told me about how he was out of money and getting ready to go to Florida to look for work. I was fairly fresh from my automobile accident, in sizeable credit card debt and still not working. When I went into the doctor’s appointment, I gave $20 to the receptionist and said, “When that man comes out, will you give this to him, because he needs this way more than I do.” He did not ask for money; I saw a need.

I never expected to see him again and it did not matter because I felt great because I had done a kind deed. Think about how you feel when you do a kind deed. I feel like I am queen of the world when I think I have done a good deed. It really is a small world, because about eight months later, he had come back to our town. He was working in the park next to that doctor’s office and he saw me go into the doctor’s office. He followed me in and he said to me, “You know, I really needed that money at that time and I really appreciate what you did.” Wow! I got to be queen of the world twice for the same good deed. You know that was a BIG confidence booster.

Accepting help is also a confidence booster. How? Once again you are doing a kind deed. That may sound like an oxymoron, but hear me out. People feel better when they can help.

It is hard to remember to accept help from strangers; I still sometimes say “No.” when people try to help me. Somebody will come by while I am going in a door and I have done all the hard work in getting the door open. I am already halfway through the door and they say, “Can I get that for you?” I am thinking, “Well, no. I have already got it!” I do try to remember to say, “Yes, go ahead,” because they want to help me. Even if it is the simple task of them opening the door for me without my asking and it makes them feel better, it is as if I gave them a gift today, just by me saying, “Yes, go ahead and open that door for me.”

I am not also afraid to ask people for help when I need it. If I am in the grocery store and there is an item on the top or bottom shelf, I will stop someone and ask, “Can you reach that for me?” Nobody has ever told me “No.”

Pay attention for opportunities to help others and accept help from others in your daily life. Not only will your confidence get a boost, it is a great way to connect with others. Who knows, I may even ask you to open the door for me.


Until next time…

Have a great day,
Susanne

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