We have talked a lot about the mental aspects of confidence in this series. Now it is time to address the physical part of confidence. It is really hard to think you are all that and a bag of chips when you feel awful.

Ignoring your physical state will erode your confidence just as quickly as someone telling you they think you are an idiot. When was the last time you thought you did your best work when you were sick? Probably never.

Obviously you will get sick from time to time; there is not any way to avoid it. What are you doing to minimize the chances of that happening or lessening the severity when it does? Are you exercising regularly? Are you eating well? Are you washing your hands frequently? The steps to staying healthy are fairly simple, yet somehow they are nearly impossible for many to adapt.

Stop polluting your body. This could mean quitting smoking, drinking less wine or eliminating processed foods. For me it is Diet Coke. I have been drinking it since I was a kid in the 80s when the advertisements were all about drinking it “Just for the taste of it.” I love Diet Coke and I do drink it because I like the taste more than other sodas; however research is now showing it messes with your blood sugar. So three years ago I cut back to one 12-ounce can per day and two years ago I gave up Diet Coke.

Walk more. I was raised in a small town in Nebraska. When I was a junior my family moved to a new town and our house was 2½ miles outside of town. On nice days it was not unusual for me to skip the bus ride home to enjoy a walk. Let us skip forward several years to when I lived in a mobile home park. We had a central post box area for mail delivery and no one in the park lived more than five blocks from it. I knew many neighbors that drove to get the mail and then right back home because they thought walking six blocks total was too far. If your trip is less than a mile, the weather is cooperating and you are able… leave the car at home and enjoy a walk.

Read food labels. Many years ago I compared a margarine label to a butter label. I never bought margarine again. I am not a purist; I have never read the label on Cheetos because I am sure I would never eat them again and they are yummy (once in a great while). Take a trip through your cabinets and read your food labels. If you can not pronounce most of the ingredients, look for better options the next time you are at the store and start replacing the fake food.

Be proactive. Why do you brush your teeth at least twice a day? To prevent cavities. There are many other ways to be proactive with your health. Wash your hands often. Take vitamins. Manage your weight. Everyone comes in many shapes and sizes. My family is naturally tall and thin. Other people are naturally short and stocky. Nobody has fat rolls “naturally” (except maybe a baby). Being overweight leads to many health problems. I have a friend that is overweight. She always referred to it as being “big boned”. There are not any bones in your 40-something waistline. My friend eats high-calorie junk food and drinks Mountain Dew like there is no tomorrow. That is why she is 50 pounds overweight. Take an honest look at your life style to see where you can adjust for better health.

Stop stressing. Stress may be the biggest, most preventable, health issue we face. I consider myself to be a worrier. If my child is 20 minutes late getting home I am convinced they are dead in a ditch somewhere. My “worries” begin and end with my children’s safety. So I “stress out” maybe a sum total of 20 hours per year. My “other half” seems to worry about everything else. I am pretty sure he is not stressed out only when he is sleeping. “I am late! My world is going to fall apart.” “Why will my five year old not stop asking why over and over?” “That mole I just noticed is definitely cancer.” “My boss does not appreciate me.” Sound familiar? If you find yourself stressing and obsessing over tiny issues it is time to learn some stress-relieving techniques. There are many techniques to choose from so experiment until you find what works for you.

Taking the time to optimize your health as much as you can will have a dramatic impact on your confidence level.


Until next time…

Have a great day,
Susanne

Learn how to get the life results you need. Get started with this 5-day eCourse.

Have you had a chance to push your boundaries since I wrote about it in Secrets of Confidence Part 8? I sure have. Do you remember that I have a phobia about falling? Well I got the chance to face it head on. Approximately 8 years ago the Army built a three-story walkway from the elementary school over a busy street and Army train tracks.

Fortunately I live on the same side of the street as the school so I have no need to use that bridge. I did attempt to cross it one day a few years back just to say that I had done it and I made it to the second landing before I turned around and said, "There is absolutely no reason for me to cross this bridge.” I never considered crossing it again.

Last year, when my now five-year-old daughter was in Head Start, she would ask me if we could cross the bridge someday and I always told her no. This year, now that she is in kindergarten and we walk to and from school every day together, she has been more adamant. Many of her friends live on the other side of that bridge and she watches them cross every day.

I did try to cross that bridge the second week of school. Because the elementary is a year-round school and the middle school is not, one of my daughter's classmates was picked up by his 12-year-old sister for the first few weeks after school. One afternoon she walked beside me and I made it clear up to the fifth landing before I panicked and had to turn around. I was proud of myself for making it past the second landing.

Recently I was coming home from a dentist appointment and I missed the connection to the bus that takes me the last two miles home. It was, of course, early release day at school and I had less than 20 minutes to get to the school. Fortunately, I use a power wheelchair and although there are not sidewalks from that bus stop to the school, there is a very wide shoulder.

I rolled down the street toward the school and after a little more than a mile there is that giant bridge. I can choose to either cross the bridge and get to the school on time or I can continue another three-quarters mile down the road to the next street that turns into the school neighborhood and come back another three-quarters mile to the school and be late.

The things we do for our children. From the ground I could see two moms just starting on the fourth ramp. So I zigzagged up and down the ramps and landings at top speed yelling the entire way, “Please wait for me. Please wait for me.” I caught those two moms at the very top just before they crossed the bridge. I asked them to please walk with me and keep me talking so that maybe I could cross that bridge.

With the help of those two moms I was able to cross that bridge and I made it to school on time. The next day my daughter and I were going to the bank after school. I told her that we could cross the bridge together and wait at the bus stop by the bridge instead of running the three-quarters mile to the stop that did not require crossing the bridge. I enlisted the help of her classmate’s mom to talk with me while I crossed the bridge. I did very well and was proud of myself for doing it two days in a row.

Fast forward a week and once again we are crossing the bridge to catch the bus. This time I did not think to ask that other mom ahead of time to walk with us. I did not wait for another mom that I also know crosses the bridge because I thought with all of those people crossing after school I would be okay.

First, you have to know that my five-year-old daughter ran way ahead of me so by the time I made it to the final landing to cross the bridge she was probably already down the other side waiting for me at the bottom. I did not have anyone close to me to talk to. I did cross that bridge without someone else talking to me. I was in a state of complete panic the entire way. It was all I could do to not stop and cry. I could not breathe and my heart was racing. But I did do it.

Am I going to cross that bridge again without somebody else talking to me? Not anytime soon. The difference in the way I felt when I had help and when I did it (mostly) alone was enough to convince me. I am not strong enough to cross the bridge on my own. I am okay with that. The next time we cross the bridge I will ask for help. The best part is… someone will be happy to help me.

A scene from Miss Congeniality just popped into my head. After Gracie is left by the FBI and her pageant coach she goes back to the dressing room and tells the girls she does not even know how to put on makeup. The other contestants immediately jump in to help her even if they do think that she might be competition. Now you may be thinking, "Susanne, that was a movie. My competition is not going to help me in real life."

That is simply not true. I belong to a networking group with two other social media professionals. None of us do exactly the same tasks although I am sure to anyone who has not used our services we are interchangeable. Earlier this year one of the other social media professionals developed a program with business owners of a couple of other related services. I thought their idea was brilliant and when I mentioned it to the social media professional she advised me to model it with a couple of other related services. I did not even ask for help and she offered.

If you need help, whether it be in your business life or your personal life, ask for it. I can not read your mind and you can not read mine. I may not be able to help you when you ask. I may be too busy; I may not have the skill set… I may simply not like you. Whatever the reason, I am likely to connect you to someone else who will be able to help you if I know them.

I know it is hard to ask for help. I have been considering hiring help for two years. I finally did it last month. The workload in my business finally got too much for me to bear alone. Please do not wait until you start coming apart at the seams to ask for help. I should have hired someone in January. My insane July would have been a whole lot more manageable with help.

Pretty soon it will be too cold and snowy for me to walk my daughter back and forth to school. I have discovered a mother who lives on the street next to me that has a child in my daughter's class. I am going to ask her this week if she would consider driving my daughter to and from school starting in November. The worst she can do is say no and if she does say no I can ask someone else. Because I am not waiting until the last minute, I have the time to get a plan in place.

Please, let me know if I can help you. Really!

Until next time…

Have a great day,
Susanne

Get on-call access to an expert for answers to your most pressing marketing concerns! Check out my Ask Me Anything coaching program!