You may have taken certain paths or created goals to please someone else in your life. Did you step into a leadership role in the family business because it was expected of you? Did you go to your parent’s alma mater because it was their dream?
Neither of these examples are necessarily bad decisions. If you do not have a strong desire to forge a new path it is fine to let others help guide your goals. But what if the idea of someday running the family business fills you with dread or the field of study you wish to pursue is not offered at your parent’s choice of schools?
Take some time to reflect on why you have made and are currently making decisions. I had a friend who miscarried six times trying to become a mother. The sixth time she carried a boy for more than five months before she miscarried. That final loss was so devastating she had to do some soul searching.
Even though her family urged her to keep trying to have “her own” baby she decided her primary goal was to be a mother and biology would not make her love her child any more or any less. She and her husband adopted a beautiful baby boy from a teen-aged couple and two years later they adopted his baby brother.
Sometimes you have to stay on a path you do not like. You may feel stuck at a job you do not like because your family depends on your paycheck. Take the time to look at what you can change to align with your desires. (Yes, it would be nice to win the lottery and follow your whims for the rest of your life, but this is the real world not Fantasy Island.)
Can you start looking for other employment while you are still working? If education is a barrier can you take flexible-schedule training? If your dream job would step you down the income ladder take a look at your lifestyle to find ways to downsize. Do you need premium cable, a large house or to live in an expensive zip code?
You have to decide what you want for yourself and you should understand there may be consequences and compromises for your loved ones. Getting a degree may mean you miss some of your children’s games or date nights with your spouse. Starting a home-based business may entail hiring a baby-sitter four hours a day so you can focus on your business.
Take the time to look at where you are in your life. If you are happy, celebrate! It is okay to be content with the life you have; the grass is green enough in your own yard. If you are dissatisfied create a plan to improve that part of your life. When it comes to reaching your goals and improving your life, you need to be the leader.
Until next time…
Have a great day,
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